 4th Grade's Big Red Car
It was a long trip out to Whalan in the skipper’s big red car. The trip was made even longer by the fact that the skipper had to make his token Macca’s stop and also pick up Brett Marvel. Last time I checked St. Ives was not a shortcut to Blacktown.
One of Harry Turner's smashing cover drives
Anyway, after what can only be described as a fascicle warm-up, the skipper lost another crucial toss and Gordon were sent in to bat on a wicket that had seen several inches of rain over the past week. It was probably a blessing in disguise, as not one catch was taken in the warm up.
It would be the smallest and second smallest men in grade cricket who would open the batting (Kannangara & Kenner…in that order). It was a slowish start by the inter-racial pair, with the ball seaming and holding up off the wicket. The two fought their way to drinks but Las fell soon after for a patient 22.
This brought Cubbage to the wicket and all of a sudden the hairiest batting partnership our great game has ever witnessed was at the crease. Kenner, suffering from post drinks delirium was dropped 7 times in the one over, all by the same fielder. The poor kid was devastated as Kenner was heard to remark, ‘you have just dropped the 4th Grade Shield’. Alas, Kenner’s prediction did not come to fruition as he followed Cubbage back to the pavilion for an excruciating 21, after attempting a suicidal single. Kenner believes he is as fast as Hussey but in reality he would struggle to beat Avendano in a 60m dash.
Luckily Harry Turner was still in to put the Blacktown bowlers to the sword, and he set about doing this after tea, scoring a crisp 61, punctuated with some luscious cover driving off the spinners.
Marvel batted like Bradman for a well made 13. Mitch Kleem, who earlier stole the show with his toilet humour, then set about stealing the match. Mitch was intent on hitting runs after a quiet season, and after giving his wrist a good work out waiting to bat, he went hard after the bowling. On 36 Mitch was unfortunately tempted into one too many big shots and held out at mid-off.
It was left to Hugh Selby and skipper Iqbal “Inzie” Ahmed to finish off the innings and reach a defendable score. Hugh started this task by chipping a leg glance between short cover and regulation cover and then setting off for a single once he realised the ball had miraculously landed safely. Unfortunately, Inzie was caught ball watching and with his inability to say ‘NO’ (Inzie is a ‘yes’ man) he was left with no choice but to run. He took three steps towards the strikers end and was run-out by 20 yards. Luckily Hugh was right next to him at the time to apologise. Inzie left the field with a smile on his face and a significantly lower batting average.
 To his credit, Hugh took it upon himself to see the innings home and did so in style, making 44 not out. Highlights of the final 10 overs included; James Campbell batting 9, Pat Effeney’s lap sweep which ended in disaster and ‘Duck’ Turner batting. According to ‘Duck’ he used to bat in the top six, but if you were to watch him now, you would swear he’s never batted above 11. Every time he lays bat on ball, the peanut gallery erupts in raucous applause. (His helmet also looks ridiculous)
The "yes" man and big red car owner - Iqbal Ahmed
After all the mayhem and shenanigans, Gordon were bowled out in the 79th over for 235. A very defendable score on a tough batting wicket and a slowish outfield.
Scores
Gordon 235 (Harry Turner 61, Hugh Selby 44*, Las Kannangara 22, Richie Kenner 15) vs Blacktown.
Until next week, you stay classy Big Red.
Sticks
Oh yeah, I almost forgot…Tiddles asked not to be mentioned in this match report | 
