 Missy’s Mail 15
So where has Missy been? Who cares? Fair point, and I respect your argument. The real question should perhaps be “Where the hell is the rest of the club?” I have attended all the pre-season fixtures thus far and safely say I recognize a total of 6 players from last year. 62.3% of this year’s registered players will debut for the club in round 1, a mind boggling statistic, even if I did make it up. I would have revealed Missy’s Mail XV a lot sooner had I known that players like Adam Gilchrist, Jon Moss, John Davidson, and Jim Cattlin (all holding the same cricketing ability) had already left the club. Therefore I have had no news to report.
Brett Rosen scoring runs on a beach where I'd love to be
Anyone hoping to read about the players from overseas can stop reading here. I’ve given up all hope in trying to communicate with them. I presume the internet has ceased operating in the northern hemisphere.
With September 22 inching closer, almost daily now, cricket die hards across Australia will be dusting off their cricket kits, bleaching their creams and starching their Greg Chappell wide brims. One of the wettest winters on record during the biggest drought we, the human race, have ever seen can only mean one of two things. One, that Al Gore was wrong, or two, that it will be a scorching hot summer.
An exciting season looms at the Stags with so many youngsters and academy members attempting to better the impressive 6th place in last years Club Championship race. Unfortunately for the 14 to 19 year olds at the club, they won’t have Gordon’s favourite school teacher John O’Neil-Fuller educating them on the finer points of life as JOF has moved overseas for “work”. That’s what I always loved about Two-Pumps. Firstly, that anyone believed his nickname came about from his bowling action, and secondly, how close he got to his students. A real mentor. We all hope this mail finds you in good health Joffa!
Bretty Rosen, another fallen Stag from the 06/07 season, continues his travels around the world and currently finds himself in Africa. He’s doing all the usual ‘touristy’ things - go on safari, see the sights, meeting the people, having a child with a local. You know, the usual stuff. Perhaps he will be unfortunate enough to meet up with Matt Michael who also intends to travel this summer, although with a mouth watering round 15 fixture vs Manly, The Cake may find himself staying in Sydney to watch his best mate Damon Livermore play against his old club in what will be the biggest 4th Grade grudge match the year has to offer. I hear through the Missy-Vine that neither Michael will be playing at the Stags this year, with Dave focusing on other commitments. What a prospect this is! With such less anger at the club maybe there are but good times ahead. Happy, laughing times. At the very least Mitch won’t cop it from as many angles. God bless him.
 I haven’t heard from Anthony Sherman in some months but some guy who now plays lower grades at Manly told me that Pic once again hit the RSVP top 10 in early August. I would pay a lot of money to be a fly on the wall during a date with the Sherminator. Money which I don’t have now, but I could probably borrow some from a few guys and then pay them back later.
Good, Better, BIC
Without a doubt the biggest news from the off-season comes from who else, but the Best In Club. BIC. My mate BIC. You can imagine my surprise as I was flipping through my Telegraph whilst enjoying some corn flakes - or whatever it is I eat for breakfast, when I saw my best mate starring back at me promoting his beloved Woolworths. Who would’ve thunk it? BIC Evans, the new face of Woolworths. Thinking of it now, only about 4 players playing at the club now will know who Rob Evans is, so maybe my friends at UTS Balmain (or the Sydney Cricket Club as they are now known) can appreciate this anecdote.
The issue of the draw this season (Ed. click here to view the draw), as always, will have grade cricketers scurrying through the rounds to see who against, where and when they will spend their weekends. Gordon won’t have to worry about trips to Bankstown, Hawkesbury, Sutherland and Sydney Uni for the next 6 months, however it would appear that grades 1, 3 and 5 will be clocking up the miles with away bouts. This comes as a relief to 2nd and 4th graders who, in the 06/07 summer, travelled to Cape Town and back, or at least the equivalent.
I ,for one, am excited about the non-inclusion of the Hawks this year. For the past 3 years I’ve travelled out to Bensons Lane to battle what can only be described legendary flies. I challenge any grade cricketer to think of anything else at first thought when one says Hawkesbury. But I suppose it is all part of the experience.
Congratulations to Dylan Connell who will lead Gordon this year as Club Captain. A marvellous choice from the committee and I predict good things from Dyldo in the upcoming months. Missy has once again been overlooked (not nearly as big an oversight as Choppy - imagine the rums we would’ve had) but has been appointed as club vice-captain for consecutive seasons. Missy now holds the longest reign of any other club vice captain before him - which was Ian Higgins way back in 2006/2007. I’m beginning to feel like Andy Bichel.
 Of course, this isn’t the only change to the hierarchy at Gordon. AJ Falk takes over from Ian Carroll as President, Paul Stephenson is promoted from selector to Vice-President, and most notably Matthew Kelly has graduated from player to honorary assistant to the secretary. When I questioned Kells as to his role, with no intention of mocking him, he threw a cricket ball to my groin. Touché Matthew. Touché.
There is only one true Colonel
Whilst dining at one of the many fine Thai restaurants in Hornsby I ran into former good bloke (and Stag) Leon Gulaptis. Many will remember Gulappa fondly for his perfect bone structure, chiselled jaw line, 10 point smile and high pitched squeal. Gulappa has found himself in the centre of more KFC ads, this time playing a man role rather than in the background as previous. He joked that people will start calling him The Colonel, what with all of his fried chicken appearances. Optimistic at best. He’s also scored a gig in one of the upcoming government commercials, so watch out for that. I am looking forward to it greatly.
Good luck to all at pre-season, and remember:
“If you play in a lower grade than me, I’m not going to talk to you” Matt Michael (2006)
Missy |
