 Missy’s Mail 13
There is so much interesting material out there on the internet. I’m not sure one would describe it as light reading, however it’s comical value can not be denied and it comes from all around the globe. Whether it be in Germany, where students can now study the fine art of kebab making and receive a diploma, sex in the bathrooms of the Clovelly Hotel in Australia, or the condom found in a New Zealand ‘Happy Meal’.
Parfett and Richie Paul with Missy
My personal favourite comes from Japan where “fake poodles” have been sold. Obviously it has become quite widespread as it has been international news. The real kicker here though is that the animal being sold as a fake poodle is a sheep. That’s right, it’s not a typo. Sheep. A ‘Bollywood’ film star of Japanese heritage was also involved in the chaos, and on a late night talk show questioned why her new dog didn’t bark, instead it went baaaaaa.
With so much ridiculous news out there, it’s hard for an idiot like myself to keep up with the competition, but what the hell. Here we go again.
I’ll start with the rather eventful departure of talk show host to his own life, Neil Longhurst. I was fortunate enough to have the pleasure to drive Longers to the airport on Tuesday, the day before Two-Up Day, or ANZAC Day as it’s known to RSL members. Traffic was horrendous, a quite literal quagmire consumed the roads. Sure we were driving in peak hour, but still who’s driving to the city 4:45pm? Apparently everyone was, to answer my own rhetorical question. Fortunately I had out smarted, out witted and out played the RTA and allowed for such a lengthy traffic delay. What I had not allowed for was my engine overheating. The ever reliable Toyota Corolla, circa 1912, which had never given me a problem decided to play a nasty trick on Longers and break down, without a hope of the engine restarting. I’m not sure if there is ever a good place to break down, maybe inside a petrol station, or outside an NRMA office, however the right hand lane of the Eastern Distributor does not come under the column of “good places to break down”.
 And let me tell you, the motorists were angry that day my friend. There was about 100,000 cars behind me - added by the teaming rain outside - and it would be lie if I said I didn’t appreciate the constant honking of horns to acknowledge my bad timing. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone who is reading this saw me - cheers for the help. Bastards. The engine was completely dead. The NRMA was informed, and a tow truck was organised.
Longhurst, Missy... Priceless
The real problem was that Longy had to be at the airport in about 30 minutes, there was no chance we were going anywhere and I think it’s fair to say he would have been the first person ever to get a cab from inside the ED. He rang the airport and agreed that if he never came back to the country he would be given an extra hour and half to his arrival time. Longers was relatively calm for someone who was about to miss his plane home, but understandably edgy. I was far more relaxed and questioned whether we were on the radio in every traffic report in Sydney. I’m not sure my jovialness was appreciated.
The Tow Truck driver came, and it was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, to get out of my broken down automobile to face the swarms of fuming road users. Luckily I had decided to wear pants that day. In the truck, Longers was making new best mates with the driver whilst I was more pensive over the state of my car. The car was quickly fixed by an overly friendly tow-truck driver and we were soon back on the roads and at the airport to see Longy off for the last time. On behalf of the GDCC, I’d like to thank Longers for coming out here to play for our club. The club won’t quite be the same without him around, definitely quieter though.
All the best Longers, hopefully you can come back out here soon and we wish you all the best until then mate.
As for the next day, Two-Up day, I ran into a couple of former Stags in the shape of Dave Parfett and Richie Paul at ‘The Dolphin’ in Surrey Hills. Dickie in fine form as per usual and Parf well on his way to a solid evening. Both Dave and Richie left the club 2 seasons ago to focus on their work commitments. Parf is still going round for the Beecroft footy club and will match up against 1st grade opening bowler and Lindfield Rugby stalwart Dylan Connell in a few rounds time. Richie is heading to England in August for a 2 year working stint.
Sam Hinton has been in the wars, regular readers will remember he had some shoulder problems late last season due to a lengthy stint of One Tree Hill on the couch. This time Hint-Dog’s injuries are far more serious. He has some elbow ligament damage and was looking at one stage at needing a full reconstruction. The good news is that won’t need to happen, however he will require a large amount of rehab during the winter months. It’s important that I do not exaggerate injuries, last year I had Las out of action for the early part of the cricket season. Turned out he was fine, and because of my report he was almost not selected in Round 1. Sorry Lassie mate.
 Speaking of Sri Lankans, it would be remiss of me if I did not mention the farce that was the entire 2007 Cricket World Cup, which I’m almost positive started some time around mid-July last year. The tournament could not have gone worse for administrators. The final and the complete debacle which it was, was without a doubt a fitting end to a terribly run, organised and supported event. I’m sure everyone in the world was cheering on Australia though, I don’t think they’re sick of us winning everything yet. I presume Sri Lankan captain Mahayla Jayawardene’s waxer couldn’t make the trip to the Caribbean as he is currently sporting the proudest mono-brow in international sport. Enough of opposition captains, Ricky Ponting’s no oil painting either is he.
Missy has again fallen for the fairer sex
One man who would be lapping up the attention for being Australian, and subsequently good at everything, is Rod Hokin. Currently spending his southern hemisphere winter in Dublin where there are 20,000 more of the fairer sex. Rocket has also been picking up wickets, not just women, although I suppose it is actually Jack Hokin (the Australian surfer on a world tour - and Rod’s alter ego) who is actually getting the notches on the belt. Rocket has claimed 2, 3 and 4 wickets in his first 3 games, and scored an impressive 75 retired in a friendly fixture after (his words not mine) “people in the bar were being threatened by some long bombs”.
As for Missy, he is well and truly back in the game we call love. Good times.
Stay sexy
Missy |
