 Missy's Mail No.10
Where does one begin?
It’s been around 2 months since my last post, and I’ve been questioned on a regular basis when the next Missy’s Mail is coming out.
So…. Where have I been??
Well, in short, my absence is due to a bad break-up. I’ll spare my readers of the finer points, as there’s no need to dwell on the past, but with time healing old wounds and new love on the scene, Missy is back to fulfil his contractual commitments and finish off the 06/07 season.
(Wayne Phillips)
It’s difficult to know where to start. With so much already been and gone I’m not sure what to include and what to exclude. For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is Mitch asking Wayne Phillips where he gets his haircut, at the Gordon Luncheon in front of 400 odd people.
 This coming from the fashion guru/life coach who when asked how he gets his hair in a Mohawk he replied, and I quote, “It’s all natural. I sleep on both sides of my head, and so it makes my hair go up in the middle”.
(Falky doing what he does best)
I’ll excuse Mitch for this lapse in concentration. There was a lot of alcohol consumed on that afternoon. The luncheon again was a tremendous spectacle and thoroughly enjoyed by all, especially by A.J. Falk, who was tearing up the D-Floor as if he planned to make restorations to Wallaby Bar.
Whilst, of course, staying cool in a pair of authentic 1937 aviator sunglasses.
Brad “The Dazzler” (as he’s been known of late) Rasool must surely get a mention.
 Not necessarily for his batting feats, but more for the fact that his name alone increases hits on the web page by 63%. He will be sorely missed around the club when he leaves for university exchange, and I urge someone to develop a ridiculously ridiculous laugh so his lack of presence will be slightly less noticeable. Pic will be bitterly disappointed that he can’t bend his young mind over winter down at the rocks.
(The dazzler celebrates his 239)
Richie Kenner, and Craig Knight are also having brief sabbaticals, however due to the lack of friendships both of these men are able to maintain, they will be significantly less missed. Craig Knight made some friends inside Cargo Bar on the night of the luncheon by telling Packers to score some runs… Perhaps not the best thing to say when your struggling to make 30’s yourself in Colts. Mitch again chimed in after writing a ballad for James Packman - minus a guitar rift - in the tune of the sculling song. It went a little something like:
“Here’s to 20 he’s true blue….”
 Mitch subsequently suffered 38 stitches to the forehead and missed 4 rounds of cricket.
I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas and New Years. There are always a few stories to come out of the last week in December, and this year for me was no different. My December 25 was as planned. Christmas Day.
(Craig Knight)
Fortunately I had received the latest 12th man as a gift from my elder sister and had an opportunity to hide in my room for 120 minutes away from the family who I believe were discussing a boat they once sailed on in 1804.
New Years was scandalous. I started proceedings at the Hosking residence at around 5 in the afternoon. Myself and Jimmy Hosking’s younger brother, Dave, attended a couple of house parties before returning back to his place to finish the drinks we had started earlier the day before.
I had purchased a case of Heineken, and had learnt that Hosko had acquired a bottle of Vodka. Being the smart drinker I am, I decided to buy 24 cans of red bull, so that we could have 12 vodka red bulls each. The problem was that we had our last vodka red bull at about 6:30am January 1.
 We went to bed. Separately I should add. However, to our amazement we couldn’t sleep. Not only could I not sleep but I was keen to attend a marathon somewhere and sprint it. I was bouncing off walls. Literally at times. It was one of the strangest emotions I’ve ever experienced. I was exhausted from drinking for close on 12 hours, yet felt the need to talk as quickly as Mark Taylor and run up and down trees in the neighbourhood. I just don’t know how Pic does it every week?!
("5 - Neil" Longhurst)
Anyway I survived that somehow, even though I was surely experiencing heart palpitations, and got to see the Aussie XI go round to make it 5-0 from the comfort of my own home. Gordon’s Barmy Army import, Neil Longhurst, was given the most brilliant nickname, by a 9 year old no less, he was coaching during the week at a cricket camp. “5 Neil”. Absolutely superb. That 9 year old is going somewhere. Maybe we can get him in to replace me from the website.
Unfortunately some bad news. Gordon has lost it’s Best In Club. We are now BICless. Rob Evans has decided to hang up the boots in favour of a career behind the weights machines. Obviously his training schedule couldn’t allow for Saturdays to be consumed by cricket, Saturday’s chest and guns. Jokes aside, it’s a shame to see BIC go, but we wish him the best and perhaps we’ll see him back someday.
 This does leave the title of BIC open though. All suggestions will be seriously considered. Who will it be? Medcalf? Garrat?… Watling? Time will tell.
(Missy says farewell to Best In Club)
Finally I have some dirt on Ahmed. It’s been a long time coming, but now I have something to get stuck into him about. He has a new lady friend. I believe they met at SBS HQ (Sydney Bombing Syndicate Headquarters), and have been slowly evolving into one as their journey of love for each other, and for backpacks, blossoms into a prosperous future. He has been strangely absent from a number of Gordon functions which leaves me to the belief that he is choosing dates over mates.
Typical. I feel heartbroken. He promised me so much, did Ahmed, that bastard. All you men are all the same. Just use me for my immaculate hair and unblemished skin, then leave me for someone who has an X chromosome.
 (Iqbal)
Anyway, I appear to have become rather gay all of a sudden. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Maybe I should leave before anymore skeletons come out of the closet… pardon the pun.
Missy | 
