 Missy’s Mail 9
You just can’t win with some people. I’ve heard through the grapevine that my overly honest remarks about Mitch’s date a few weeks ago were not well received by some of my readers with an X chromosome. That’s not to say the chicks don’t still dig me. Although it is now, because I just said ‘dig’. I say if the Bee Gees did it, it’s alright by me. Hence the purchase of my new incredibly tight white hot pants. Anyway, I seem to have drifted off on a rather unusual tangent…. Let us begin the usual proceedings.
(Richie Kenner with pads)
I have been keenly investigating the website, and more specifically the match reports of all the grades. I found it interesting that Millar decided to attach his life story onto one of his last reports and that Cubbage seems to be plagiarising a number of Higgins’ quotes, nevertheless Richie Kenner for mine has been the most impressive scribe of the season thus far. I enjoy reading his work and I know I’m not the only one.
I was briefly chatting to Dan Frogan at the annual Website Review Column Party, and he revealed to me that Kenner is indeed the owner of the dirtiest pads in grade cricket. I say, what Kenner does in his own time with his cricket kit is entirely up to him. There’s plenty of money for that kind of the thing on the internet. I’ve also noticed that every single report writer has a little tag line now at the end of each report. Millar started the trend last year with "Up Gordon", whoever writes the 3rd grade report is obviously on something as the line changes with ridiculous slogans each week but once again Richie Kenner easily takes out the best tag line with "Stay Classy Chatswood (or wherever his team has travelled to)". Very catchy. Very good.
 With the first day of round 4 reaching an unprecedented 38 degrees, 1’s, 3’s and 5’s made the journey out to the unforgivable Benson’s Lane, infamous for flies and a lack of shade. Chris Lee did his best to stay cool by ‘inadvertently’ stealing 1st grades drinks bag which held a number of Powerade’s and other cool beverages. Chris Archer, God bless him, informed me that Lee was in fact a state regional runner over 100 metres when he was younger. Unbelievable. Far be it from me to victimise Lee and his unique running technique, but as a rather portly 3rd grade captain would say… WOW!!
(Chris Lee in action)
If I was to continue to pepper Lee, and I will, I would also inform my readers that he attended a Rogue Traders concert a few weeks back with his "girlfriend". Ok. Ok. Enough about Lee, poor bloke.
It surprised me that after it being 38 degrees on the first days play it dropped dramatically to a nippy 20 the following weekend. Not to mention the howling gale sweeping from over the mountains. What unusual weather we are having…. Damn global warming. How the hell is Richtor going to build up his base tan with the inconsistency in rays? The same would apply for Tiddles, but I don’t think the weather affects the use of a solarium.
A lot of strange things happened during the course of Round 4. The weather perhaps played catalyst to unusual happenings. Maybe it was a full moon.
 It all started with the show-but-no-show of John Sawtell. For those who haven’t heard the story I’ll be gentle; as I am understandably afraid of the man with the build similar to a block of units. Mr. Sawtell drove from Sydney all the way out to Benson’s Lane (about an hour away) and pulled into the car park. From there he sat in his car, a few short metres from the ground and then decided he didn’t want to play today, so he drove off and back home - forgetting to tell anybody at the club.
(Big John)
I don’t really know what else to say. He has definitely given a new nickname to someone who doesn’t show up, or shouldn’t have shown up. Apart from that I can’t quite figure out the logic behind or the thinking behind the scenario.
With Ed Howitt Jr. falling ill during the week, his unavailability left an opening for the role of club coach for a training session. I would have thought someone like Hokin who actually has qualifications as a coach would have taken the reigns and led the boys. Anthony Sherman doesn’t come to mind. Although it was indeed Pic who conducted the Tuesday session.
 Interestingly enough he allowed himself to bat for a good 23 minutes in the nets whilst the other batsman only received a less than usual 6½ minutes. It was good to see Hoppa back at training. Really, really good.
(The dazzler)
What about the Dazzler!!! It probably….. No, no, no I’ll start again. It is without a doubt the greatest line anybody could possibly use to describe anything which is wonderful. I was in a coffee shop just the other day and yes, I was a ordering an orange mocha frappuccino as all good male models like myself do, and it was so good when I was asked by the very attractive girl serving the hot beverages how my coffee was I exclaimed with a beaming grin "What about the Dazzler". As it turned out the relatively attractive girl was indeed the Dazzler’s sister so she understood what I was saying but nevertheless I think you understand my point. Oh, and Dazzler also scored some runs in round 4. Same goes for Hint-Dog. And Weaves. And Hosko.
 Sammy Buono will no doubt be close to the pinnacle of the fantasy league competition, what with Hinton as his captain, and now Mitch and Mike Weaver in the runs.
Watch out for a new section on the website called "Moth’s Male of the Week".
Just joking.. But not really.
Get a haircut Mahaffey!
Missy | 
