 Missy’s Mail 8
I’m not sure if the Grand Final was the biggest thing that was in the room at the GreenGate Hotel on Sunday night. Well, it was until Mitch decided to invite his RSVP date into a room of 30 guys. What about the beak on that bird!! Mitch’s obvious child like fantasies have delved into his adult life, as he attempts to marry a woman with qualities that until Sunday night I cold have sworn only Sesame Street character Big Bird had.
(Missy chasing his RSVP date on Sunday)
Who was she to run away from the man of her dreams anyway? I’m surprised Mitch didn’t catch up to her, as I’m sure she would have tilted over due to such a heavy load on one’s face. Not to worry Kleemy, true love is out there somewhere in cyberspace. I’m sure of it.
It was a truly wonderful night for those who attended the function on Grand Final night. From the Gate, the Gordon contingent travelled briefly to the Crows Nest Hotel, and then battled on to the rocks. For some of us, this is where the night only began. Myself and Neil Longhurst were privy to see the fight of the century between Plummer and Ahmed at the George St. McDonalds.
Both sides copped a verbal battering. Both parties were too drunk to be coherent.
 It was brilliant to see Jason Russell-Jones there at the Gate. I’m pretty sure he’s only 14, but still, it was nice of him to stay for the game. JRJ had to leave early because some reckless sole spiked his beer with 4.9% alcohol.
(Jason)
The Gordon Fantasy League has been all the talk around Gordon circles of late. I for one, have enjoyed some of the names that contestants have drummed up. South American Love Bandicoots, Team Strike Force - Omega Quadrant, I Can’t Believe I Picked Dylan, The Ho Train, and Nick Medcalf’s XII are my favourites. Such imagination.
After drawing everyone’s attention to his undervalue in the competition at $70,000, Sam Hinton fired back at his critics with a wonderful hundred at Hurstville Oval in round 1. Of course for the next week he was asking Ed Zelma everything he needed to know about driving one of Chatswood Classic Cars fine automobiles for winning player of the year. He was quickly put in his place with a second ball duck in round 2. I believe Sam Beuno has Hint-Dog as his fantasy league captain.
Hinton was hopeful of an elevation to 1st grade the next week purely on the basis he would like to be introduced to Matt Michael, a man who doesn’t talk to lower graders.
My fantasy team (Missy’s Mob) currently consists of about 8 players, due to Holmes, Dowsley, Smith, Richtor being unavailable. Oh, and my captain didn’t play on the weekend because his pinkie was injured when he was throwing grenades. Damn Ahmed!!
 Perhaps the best story of the competition thus far is that Tiddles highest ranked team stands at 53rd. He has 6 teams. And he’s a selector. I knew I should be in 1st grade. Get me in there ahead of Zeddie It’s an achievement of sorts to be batting the way Ed Zelma has been. 3 innings, 3 balls, 3 ducks. Perhaps Zeddie shouldn’t be watching tapes of Agit Agarkar’s innings in Australia on how to bat. But who am I to judge?
(Ed Zelma in action)
Nick Dowsley has been given the all clear by doctors to play in round 4 against the Hawks. I wrote previously that he was involved in a BMX incident. Apparently Missy’s informants got that wrong. His dislocated shoulder (indeed, not a broken collar bone) was caused via billy-cart…..
Billy-Cart….. Billy-Cart.
"Hey Nick, what happened to your shoulder?"
"Billy-Cart."
 The last time anybody rode a billy-cart was when Huckleberry Finn was causing havoc in the 1880’s. When Dows told me of the incident first hand, the first question I asked was how inebriated he was. He tells me he hadn’t had one drink. I’m not sure if that’s all together a good thing though. I mean, if he was drunk then sure I can understand the pleasure of riding that form of transportation. But when your sober? Why not catch a bus?
(The moth)
I would like to be the first to congratulate Tim Packman on his impending engagement. "The Moth" as he is affectionately known hasn’t been seen for some time now which leads me to the conclusion that his dream of eloping has come to pass. Perhaps a baby moth is on the way. Maybe that’s being too forward. If it is, only he will be able to tell me. Of course seeing that he is starting to settle down in his little moth nest and rarely shows his face in public without his beloved by his side, that may never happen.
(The moth)
It was tremendous to see Dean Goldsmith at Sydney Uni on Saturday. Goldy, a stalwart of Gordon Cricket, has retired from the game this year. He looked to be very healthy and has just returned from a month in France. Mark Wiese also returned for this round in 5th grade. Wiesey married the lovely Jessica last year and is currently doing a PHD, leaving not enough time for full-time cricketing commitments, but it was great to have him on board this week.
 I’ve heard from my spies around Sydney, and generally the world, that "The Judge" Adair Durie will be making a return to Chatswood Oval. Adair played 1st grade for Gordon before dropping down to 3’s where he was a vital cog in the 3rd grade premiership, a side Will Smith played in last time he was here, now in 1st grade. Not THE Will Smith for overseas readers. I’m pretty confident of that anyway.
(Adair Durie from the archives)
"Insert short funny sentence here"
Missy | 
