Missy’s Mail 7
If you play international cricket, you want to play at Lords. If you play Australian state cricket, you want to play at the MCG. If you play for Gordon you want to be at Chatswood Oval. It was great to be back at the home of Gordon Cricket for pre-season training. I understand that they have replaced what once was a day care centre with a bar underneath the main grandstand. A strange swap, and I’m not sure who saw that potential, but I think it’s brilliant. Finally Gordon cricketers have a place to drink and socialise.
Chatswood Oval itself appears to have held up well over the rugby season, comparatively to that of previous years. I suppose it helps that the Gordon rugby players haven’t made a tackle on the surface all year, but nevertheless the turf is far less patchy than I can recall. It makes it noticeably easier to perform simple fielding drills when the ball doesn’t leap up and attack your perfectly sculpted face.
 An impressive number turned out for the first session back at Chatswood, I even saw Best In Club (Robbie Evans) took time out from his hectic schedule of bicep curls and bench-press to make an appearance. As always, a few new faces have shown their hand and it would seem that they could be useful acquisitions for the club.
(Best In Club meets with Missy)
Unfortunately, living in Australia has it’s detracting features as well as it’s many, many benefits. English recruit Neil Longhurst has found this very quickly, as he enjoys the warmth and the sunshine, but has been thrown in the deep end via being sent to live at the Plummer household. He can either be thankful that thorns have roses, or be remorseful that roses have thorns. Australia is a rose, Plum is a thorn.
The players who have had an tenure overseas are slowly returning home now.
 Club Captain Brendan MacDonald is the first to do so. His familiar strut, swank, saunter, stretch and stride was welcomed back to the SCG on Saturday afternoon for a make-up training session. I caught up with B-Mac at the newly renovated GreenGate to discuss ideas for social functions during the season, and to drink beer. I can’t give away too much, but I feel confident that the new leadership pairing of MacDonald and Higgins may lead to something so beautiful, words escape me.
(BMac is back)
John O’Neill-Fuller will be returning home from the UK on Saturday. I’ll probably be able to write an article just on Pumps, Missy’s Mail - The X-Files. Anyone interested in the activities of JOF can read the next MM, or you can simply read the police report available at all good Cop Shops.
Returning Stag Will Smith has struck 141 against Middlesex and added 288 with Stephen Fleming for the 3rd wicket. Hitting his straps at a very beneficial time for Gordon. I have also learnt that he will be residing with The "Tim Packman" Moth during the Australian summer. Will is fortunate that Gordon’s Personal Trainer has recently re-found love, and is not the wild, swinging ladies man of old. Or perhaps he is unfortunate not to be involved in such debauchery.
 Speaking of love, the gentle and erotic whispers of RSVP.com.au have all ready begun to circulate as Pic tries to emulate his hero, Damon Livermore, in putting at least 90% of internet instigated dates through the covers. It will be like charting Ricky Ponting’s chase to surpass Viv Richards record breaking year with the bat. Except it’s Pic instead of Ponting, and women not runs.
(Pic preparing to go onto RSVP)
Love has begun to stream through the club as if it were a resplendent river flowing with no bounds to the hearts and minds of Stags everywhere. Richie Brown, "The Hornet" to many of our readers, has found companionship of the greatest kind in the inner city angst of Australia’s mafia home, Melbourne.
His bucks night was attended by a number of Gordon’s socialites, including Mitchell Kleem. Mitch’s arrival to the soiree was surprising to say the least but seeing the live entertainment didn’t show, Mitch was forced to bare all in what was a truly thrilling event for those involved/responsible.
None of this happened, but I would love to see it. It would be like a drug for the eyes.
 Nick Dowsley will not be starting the season, as he has broken his collar bone. "Digger" has very little history of reckless events (a strong liberal supporter) but for some reason suddenly felt the urge to emulate his lifelong hero Evel Knievl, and jump the snake river canyon on his BMX . Now, as I understand it Mr. Dowsley went to Sydney Grammar and achieved something like 99.852345 in his HSC, currently works for the very respectable Macquarie bank, and I would have thought past the stage of riding a bike.
(Nick Dowsley pre shoulder)
Such an act appears out of character. ND now joins the illustrious BMX team of Gordon representatives including Plummer, who a couple of years ago rode his recently "purchased" hog off a pier.
I had heard initially that he was to be out for 3 months. That must be a complete fallacy, as it would have to be the worst break in a collar bone in the history of breaking collar bones, for Nick to be out of action for 3 months. But he will be in a sling for a couple of weeks.
The Gordon District Cricket Clubs inaugural fantasy league competition is soon to be up and running. I was privy to receive one of the first information packages (sheet of paper with staple) on Tuesday night. The initiative comes from Dylan Connel and his associate Ed Howitt Jr. I can’t believe these two have created an initiative. I’m sure more will be posted about this exciting new competition, and I’ll be getting right behind it, but I really think Dylan and Hoppa need to get out more. Somewhere. Northern Districts maybe.
Good luck to Will Sweeney this weekend playing in his second consecutive Suburban Rugby 1st division Grand Final at T.G. Milner on Saturday. He will be representing Knox Old Boys, renowned for their drinking and ridiculous partying, and they will play the undefeated Drummoyne. Win or lose his Saturday night will be wild. It should be interesting how many overs he bowls against Canberra on Sunday. I’m gonna go with 2.3.…. in 3 spells.
Forever Loyal
Missy | 
