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Fifth Grade Match Reports 06/07

The Fifth Grade team plays for the Dave Sherwood Cup. All of the lower grades generally contain a number of experienced players and young higher grade aspirants.

Points for all wins go to the club championship.

For the Fifth grade schedule go to Fixtures

Fifth Grade match reports for 2006/7 season are provided below:

5th Grade Report vs Randwick-Petersham - Round 14 (Day 2)

5th Grade Report vs Randwick-Petersham - Round 14 (Day 2)

5th Grade remain in finals despite loss 

The epic battle between 3rd and 2nd continued at Killara. With the Stags ending at 9-188 over night and it was up to Turner and Campbell to add some more runs onto the board and to eat up some overs. Alas this was not to be as Campbell was caught at fine leg of a top edge without being able to add to his over night total off 7 and the teams total remained at 188.

Colley picks up a "cheeky one" with his spinners

With a small total for Killara to defend and the cricketing gods not watching, Kennedy and Fragogianas opened up looking for early wickets. With Randy-Petes 0-77 off 18, it didn't happen. Both struggled with their lines, particularly to one batsman, who couldn't play an off side shot. He made 52. It was Siriwardhane (Scotty) that got the break through and then an over later Turner got the other opener with a looping slower ball. Nothing so far had gone right, with dropped catches, balls falling into gaps and numerous edges over the slips and more to come. It was just not going to be our day.

The flyer of a start that they got meant that it was a real struggle for the bowlers to contain them. Cruising to victory at 2-125, Marvel produced a marvellous run out to give some hope, but with a flat Killara pitch, 188 was never going to enough as they passed us 4 down with Colley picking up a cheeky wicket. All the bowlers toiled hard in the heat, with Kennedy 0-35 (10), Frag 0-24 (6), Scotty 1-24 (5), Turner 1-25 (6), Cubbage 0-25 (11), Campbell 0-29 (7) and Colley 1-21 (6).

A much better performance is needed for the last game, as it will depend wether we finish 6th or 4th.

Until some time next week,

Cubbage Wilson

5th Grade Report vs Randwick-Petersham - Round 14 (Day 1)

5th Grade Report vs Randwick-Petersham - Round 14 (Day 1)

5th Grade battles against Randy-Petes

It is 2nd Vs 3rd at Killara, with the match in the balance. After the earlier rain during the week the Killara pitch was not at its usual hardness. Tweedy won the toss, and decided he didn't want to field in the heat of the day, so he put Randy-Petes into the field.

Trapped on the crease - the captain in trouble

Steve 'Pup' Colley and Sunny 'Boycott' Sajdeh opened up, and made a good start. They put on 30 for the first wicket. Sunny (19) was the first to go, and after his ton the week before he was disappointed that he wasn't able to back it up. With two short covers in place, Sunny tried to split the two in a blaze of glory. Unluckily for him, one stuck out his hand and it ballooned up into the air for an easy caught and bowled.

With the score on 51, Steve was caught behind for 23. This was a trend for the day as batsmen made it to twenty and got out. Cubbage and Marvell looked at righting the ship, but a mix up accoutred and Marvell was run out for 12, just when he was starting to look good. At 4/88 with Lawry walking back to the pavilion for 7, the Stags were looking shaky.

The Randy Petes bowlers bowled tight lines out side the off stump, and made it difficult to drive through the off side. Cubbage was out LBW (to another Leggie again!!) for 24 made off about 30 overs. He really struggled to hit it off the square. Fragogianas and Siriwardhane (Maybe and Scotty) both made 24 before getting out. At 7/147 we were praying for a captains knock for Tweedy, who had earlier in the week fallen off a ladder, and was forced to play as Falky was already filling in for colts. Yet the captain's knock never came, as he was adjudged LBW attempting to play a leg glance.

Kennedy walked to the crease confident for resurrecting the stag's innings, and started off well playing a lovely on-drive that Gilly would have been proud of. Unfortunately he play all-round a straight one to be knocked over for 15. This left Turner and Campbell, number 10 and 11 respectively to hold out for the remaining 5 overs. To which they did putting on an unbeaten 14 partnership. With a case on the line Turner is hoping Tweedy bats on.

Until sometime in the near future,

Cubbage Wilson

5th Grade Report vs Blacktown - Round 10

5th Grade Report vs Blacktown - Round 10

A big win for 5th Grade

Week 1

Whalan, what a place. So many stories. So much history.

Every person you talk to in the club will tell you his own story Whalan, from the dirt bikes flying along side the ground to dead magpies in the middle of run ups. Alas we arrived to a ground that did not have any bikes, dead birds or any trees, yet was the size of the MCG. Where we at the right place?

Mahaffey playing a little closer to home

Unfortunately yes and to make matters worse, it was about 35 degrees under the solitary piece of shade in a 100-mile radius.

Tweedy won the toss and batted on a flat track. Weaves, whose GPS got him lost again and Boycott (Sunny), missing his partner in crime Lawry (Kenner) were sent out to open. Both did well in seeing off the new ball. Sunny (7) was the first to go, with a faint tickle down the leg side, as Weaves used up all the luck of the partnership, being dropped by the opposition captain off a catch that he would normally catch with his eyes closed. The rest of the day was spent listening to how Sunny has no luck, yet Weaves can be dropped twice.

After being dropped twice Weaves luck ran out and was adjudged LBW playing across the line for 22. This brought the partnership of Charlie Lawry and Hamish Angus. Both looking very comfortable out in the middle. Yet the heat got to Hamo as missed a ball on the stumps and was bowled for 19. Cubbage came and left the crease after being caught behind for 10 off yet another leggie. At this stage Lawry had been batting superbly in the heat and was on 58*.

Tim Fragogianas joined Lawry at the crease; the pair added 40 runs, when Lawry was run out after a Frag drive was deflected back on to the stumps by the bowler. Charlie constructed a well-made 77 in trying conditions, in which he hit 3 fours and had about 10 all run fours.

Frags and Scotty both fell after making starts. Frag, stumped for 29 and Scotty LBW for 19. This brought the experienced campaigner to the crease to keep the innings alive, yet nearly killing him self in the process as emergency oxygen was ordered as Tweedy ran many fours. With a partnership of close to 50 with Bourne, Tweedy was caught and bowled for 45. The innings fell away quickly after that as Bourne was out LBW after edging the ball through keeper and first slip and McHaff was bowled for a globe.

Hamish Angus... the new 'all rounder'

Stags all out for 286 with 17 overs to bowl at the Blacktown openers. The bowling was not at its best, which allowed for Blacktown to escaped relatively unshaved at 1/37 as McHaff picked up the solitary wicket. 

Week 2

Week 2 saw Whalan live up a place where things go wrong. As the Stags walked onto the field, a body could be seen near the bushes, and was later found out that it was a young boy of the age of 14 or 15, that had been bitten by a brown snake. Soon two Ambulances arrived and rushed him off to hospital to which they thought would be in vain, a he was said to be dead, but to the Ambos credit they some how got a pulse and gave the young boy hope. A news report on Channel Nine read out by Mike Monro told of the sad new the young boy had passed away in Hospital.

Our sympathy goes out the boy's family in this hard time.

During this hectic time, McHaff was having a McHappy Day as he rolled through the top order claiming 4 wickets and 5 for the game (5/29 off 14). He bowled tight lines and gave the batsmen nothing. He was well supported by lap dace Lappan as he kept a strangle hold at the other end. His wicketless run continued.

Cubbage replaced McHaff and was bowling into a strong wind. Cubbage's 8-round dry spell finally got some much-needed rain as he claimed 3/46 of 21 overs. His first wickets since round 2. Scotty and Bourne both bowled tight finishing with 1/34 and 0/10 respectively. It was the last wicket that proved to be the most difficult as the last two Blacktown batters held out for over 20 overs until Laps (1/28 off 15) was brought back into the attack and claimed the allusive wicket.

Blacktown bowled out for 163, 23 runs behind the follow on. At this stage news had come through that all 6 grades were going for outright so Tweedy followed suit and sent them back in. 25 overs left in the day to get 10 wickets and to knock of any runs that Blacktown posted.

A surprise tactic was used by Tweedy as he opened up with Bourne and the fast becoming all-rounder Hamish Angus, much to the disgust of Sunny. Both bowled tight with Bourne picking up two cheeky poles and finishing with 2/23 off 6. At the other end Hamo ended with figures 0/14 off 4. Much to the relief of Sunny, Charlie missed a catch and a stumping off Hamo. (We would never have heard the end of it if he got a wicket)

Bourne picks up a couple of cheeky poles

With 5 overs to be bowled Tweedy called the game off, as he could not see us collecting 6 wickets in a hurry.

The day's honours would have to go to McHaff picking up 4 wickets and 5 for the game, 2 catches and a run out to top it off.

6 valuable points leading up to the final with the top 7 very close. Well done to all grades on the wins, and a BIG thankyou must go out Tids and Andy Falk who were kind enough to shout the club a few beers.


5th Grade Report vs Penrith - Round 9 (Day 2)

5th Grade Report vs Penrith - Round 9 (Day 2)

A slow going draw for 5th Grade

Day two of the Penrith clash saw the introduction of the nominated players. Shanal 'Scotty' Siriwardhane was in for Fraggos and Hamish Angus (specialist bowler) replaced Brett Marvel.

Penrith were resuming at 3/8 chasing 215. The going was very slow to start, as the Penrith batsmen moved along at two an over. Stobs and JK (James Kennedy) both bowled tight lines and beat the bat on numerous occasions but unfortunately no edge was forthcoming.

Look Guys - No hands! - Stobo magic on display

It was a frustrating session for all the Stags players. The addition of Angus into the team definitely livened things up, though. With constant banter coming from his specialist position, mid-off, all the Staggies fielders were kept on their toes, especially Dougie Harris. At times of extreme boredom the Stags could always count on young Hamo to scream 'up the gays!' or 'good talk Dougie!'.

While the Stags fielders were trying their hardest to entertain themselves on the field, the Penrith batsmen were doing their best impersonation of Lawry and Boycott. 'Suncreen' Sadjeh, still recovering from his earlier encounter with spray-on sunscreen in the dressing sheds, noted that both batsmen displayed excellent techniques and sound running between the wickets.

It was 'Scotty' Siriwardhane who finally made the break through, taking the 4th wicket 27 overs into the day. The new batsmen was dropped first ball by an ever alert Dougie at first grip, but he made up for his indiscretion by catching the same batsmen off the same bowler (Scotty) several overs later.

... and after consultation with Captain Tweety, the sleeve gets rolled up

Tea saw the score at 5/83 and the Stags still well and truly on top. Stobo resumed after the break bowling in front of his family, strategically positioned on the Stobo Hill ' formally Jimmy Cattlin Hill. Stobs did not let the family down, picking up the crucial wicket of the Penrith number 3 who had toiled hard for his 28.

The game was far from over. With the gritty Penrith captain striding to the crease the Stags knew it would not be an easy kill. Stobs and JK both had numerous LBW shouts turned down as the Panthers started building momentum.

Talk started to circulate around the mid-off/mid-on region that it was time for a bowling change. Both Hamo and Sticks started to loosen up as it seemed inevitable that one of the two most underrated bowlers at the club would get a trundle. Alas rain started to fall at Beauchamp and the players were sent scuttling from the field. Angus and Kenner would have to wait.

After a brief rain delay, play continued with Penrith at 6/120. Bourne was toiling away at one end, restricting the runs while JK was having no luck at the other. The Penrith keeper reached his 50 and it seemed the game may slip away from the Stags. Enter Stobo.

With a seemingly harmless push on the onside, the batsmen set off for what seemed a fairly regulation 2. Stobs chased hard and delivered the return right over the bails, whereby the batsmen, having hesitated earlier, was caught short of his ground.

But Stobs was not finished yet. In the following over, the Penrith captain lofted a drive over covers. With seemingly no chance of the ball going to hand, Stobs set off from his position at mid-off and with the ball continuing to tail away from him made a Glenn McGrath dive and clasped the ball between his finger tips. A clear contender for catch of the season and what at the time seemed like a match winning effort.

Knight goes up one of numerous LBW appeal

At this point Penrith were 8/165. 12 overs remained in the day. A relatively achievable run rate of 4 an over. It was obvious that Penrith didn't think so. With 6 points on the line the instructions were clear'don't let Gordon win.

Adam Cubbage was on fire, constantly beating the bat. Both batsmen were tied in knots, and when the number 10 played back and didn't offer a shot the Stags were sure they had their 9th wicket. The appeal was miraculously turned down. Cubbie had come to the end of his spell. A desperately unlucky 0-29 off 15 overs.

The new ball was taken in one last attempt to steal the match, but with 5 slips in place and two bat pads, the batsmen were still not interested in playing shots. Kenner, at bat-pad, was focusing hard on the batsmen's knee roll (as instructed by Stobs) and tried everything to entice the batsmen to try for victory, but they wouldn't have a bar of it.

An extremely disappointing draw ended with the batsmen offering no shot. Loud celebrations came from the Penrith camp upon securing the 0 points. The Gordon lads were less satisfied with the result'both teams will now be leap-frogged on the ladder.

Not the best result to take into the Christmas break, but the 5s can hold their heads high knowing that they attacked all day and never stopped putting in for the club.

Until 2007, you stay classy Chatswood.

Sticks Kenner

5th Grade Report vs Penrith - Round 9 (Day 1)

5th Grade Report vs Penrith - Round 9 (Day 1)

Stobo's Back in 5th Grade

There was a familiar figure at Beauchamp Oval on Saturday morning. Was it a bird'was it a plane'NO. It was Richard Stobo. Stobs was making his long awaited cameo appearance for the club after his retirement last season, much to the delight of resident scribe Ian Higgins.

Bourne learns more about the Cryptic Crosswords whilst Frago focuses on the game

Stobs was welcomed into the 5th grade ranks with open arms on the verge of this crucial fixture against keen rivals Penrith. Some other familiar faces were back in the fifth grade sheds, namely Cubbage 'Wilson' (who is looking more and more like his mentor and admirer) and his partner in crime James Kennedy. Add to this Grafton ex-pat Dougie 'the pizza boy' Harris and the 5ths again had a very strong outfit on paper.

Tweety, feeling much better with the addition of Stobs in the side, lost the toss and the Stags were sent in by the Penrith captain (Stobo mach II) on a damp deck.

Lawry and Boycott (Kenner and Sajdeh respectively) were reunited due to some late changes and both openers were keen to survive the first hour. Alas 'Sticks' Lawry was back in the dressing rooms before he knew what happened, sporting a bump on the head and a bruised ego.

Boycott (Sunny) quickly followed as he played back to a ball which kept low. Jimmy Catlin (the 5th Grade batting, bowling and fielding coach and resident psychologist) spoke candidly to the two openers about their ability to critically analyse the change-up ball as well as the throwing arms of each fielder and their preferred meal choice and music selection. Both openers took on board Jimmy's advice with slightly bemused faces.

Cubbage takes one for the team

Dougie fell for ten soon after, playing down the wrong line of the bowler's change-up in-swinger (good call Jimmy). 'Toolies' Knight and Cubbage-Wilson took over when the Stags were teetering at 3/16. A fine partnership ensued with both batsmen playing their shots and taking the attack to the Penrith bowlers. The momentum of the innings had just started to swing in Gordon's favor when both batsmen fell in quick succession, Knight for 26 and Cubbie for 34.

When Marvell was caught at bat pad for 8, the Stags were 6/99 and in some trouble. Enter Tim Frag <enter alphabet here> (for the record it is Fragogiannis). Lusty blows off the spinners combined with crisp horizontal stroke play off the quicks were the highlights of Fraggas innings.

While the carnage was going on in the middle, a Gordon reunion of sorts was taking place in the pavilion. The likes of Stobo, Falk, Gray, Catlin, and Reynolds were present and what ensued was a brief summation of the previous 102 years of Gordon cricket. The young pups in the team looked on with awe and amazement as Mick Falk and Stobs rattled off names, stats and famous games of the past. The Wikipedia of Gordon cricket had come to Beauchamp.

Better shot selection from Cubbage

As the young pups jostled for couch position and discussed past Greenwood and Cross (Cubbs) experiences, Gray and Fraggas were busy furthering the Stags total.

The old guard cheered vehemently after each Gray boundary as he powered to 22 before being adjudged LBW. Tweety's disbelief at the decision came under close scrutiny by match referee Ranjad Matagale. It has been confirmed that Tweety will be fined half his match fee (that's half a bottle of veno and 5L of petrol).

Fraggas, realizing he was quickly running out of partners, accelerated his scoring, putting on a crucial 50 run stand with Kennedy who was bowled for five. Frags fell soon after, when he was unluckily caught and bowled off a low full toss. A potentially match winning innings had ended at 88.

'Red ink' Bourne was again stranded for the 6th time this season when Stobs fell for a duck. Another hundred went begging for the Bourne.

Gordon all out for 215.

Six overs remained to be bowled in the day. A real chance to make in roads into the Penrith top-order.

Knight pumps a short ball to the boundary

A combination of great bowling by Stobs and Kennedy (1 wicket a piece) and some fine fielding from the specialist mid-on and the Stags were able to reduce the Panthers to 3/8 at stumps.

A great fight back by the Stags have put them in the box seat for next week, but this game is not a foregone conclusion by any means. We know we will have to fight tooth and nail to secure the 6 points next week.

Until then, you stay classy Chatswood.

Sticks Kenner

5th Grade Round 8 vs Sutherland (Day 2)

5th Grade Round 8 vs Sutherland (Day 2)

5th Grade fall short against the Sharks

car'pool [kahr-pool] 'noun. Also, carpooling, car pooling. An arrangement among a group of automobile owners by which each owner, in turn, drives the others or their children to and from a designated place.

Saturday morning again saw Kenner's phone running hot, as both Iqbal and star import Craig Knight pestered him for a lift to Beauchamp. He knew it would be a torrid drive and it proved to be the case with Inzie discussing the many ins-and-outs of his Christmas party the previous evening and Knight giving both passengers his weekly run down on the state of play at the Gold Coast and the current Toolies situation.

Pale Ale restricting the impact of the Sharks' batsmen

Grade cricket would not be the same without carpooling.

It was pure relief on arrival at Beauchamp and not just because the covers had already been removed by the advanced party. Tweety was quickly into discussion with the Sutherland captain, attempting to forge an agreement whereby both teams would have an opportunity to win the match. It was agreed that Sutherland would bat on for another 28 overs and then declare leaving the Stags 50 overs to chase whatever runs were on the board.

The Stags were fairly confident of victory if this agreement was upheld, as the Sharks had only scored 104 runs off 45 overs the previous week.

Again it was a slow start by the Sutherland batsmen, as 'Pale Ale' Lappan and Iqbal 'Inzie' Ahmed tied down the batsmen with great control. Lapdance was the first to break through, picking up a well deserved wicket. Inzie then broke through for two wickets in two overs and the Stags were well on top.

When Emile took his second, the opening batsmen for 95, the Stags were looking the goods, having Sutherland 5-160 having already used 20 of the agreed 28 overs.

Unfortunately the total got away from the Stags in the final overs as the Sutherland captain, after having plenty of practice last week, played some thunderous sweep shots from the bowling of the people's champion.

Feeling the Sharks did not have enough runs on the board the skipper decided to bat on for one more over and it proved to be costly for the Stags with the final two balls of the innings being dispatched onto the Jimmy Catlin Hill.

Please Sir, just one more Pina Colada - Tiddles would be jealous of this tan!

The declaration was made and tea was taken, as not to lose the 2 overs for the change of innings. So the equation read 216 runs required off 51 overs, a required run rate of just over 4 an over. Not an easy task on an extremely slow outfield and a pitch that was still showing signs of life.

Inzie was promoted to open the innings with Lawry (Kenner), due to his enforced early departure to attend KJ's wedding. He was faced with about 40minutes of batting, but unfortunately he only lasted only 1 as he was caught behind slashing at a wide one.

Weaver, who struggled to find his way to the middle, fell in similar fashion 5 overs later, after crashing 2 boundaries.

This left Lawry stuck in the middle with Knight. This is always a difficult experience for any batsman, with Knight's incessant commentary explaining 'how far he missed the ball by' or 'how he missed hit that last six' wearing away at the non-strikers patience (not to mention the bowlers and close in-fielders).

Surprisingly Kenner and Knight were able to forge a solid partnership until the former was struck on the thigh pad and adjudged LBW. This dismissal started a slide for the 5th graders with Marvell falling first ball and Fraggas and Knight both holding out for 8 and 62 respectively.

Johnny Mayur Kulkarni was then run out in a suicidal quick single and the Stags were reduced to 7-131, having lost 5 wickets for only 26 runs.

Our tropical skipper Dave Gray and 'Red Ink' Bourne did their best to rescue the situation with Tweety landing some long blows over cover. But when the human 'pina colada' was caught for 20, the victory appeared gone.

The dressing room was sent into disarray when Lappan announced that he had no batting gloves. Being the only left-hander in both teams the situation appeared futile. With Emile still looking to push for victory it appeared that 'Pale Ale' would have to bat and this was the case when Emile was caught half-way down the track - forgetting to hit the ball.

The "Red Ink" Supremacy with ball in hand

Strolling out to the middle for only the second time this season, sporting a pair of right handed batting gloves, it appeared to the 5th graders that the result of this game was now in the hands of the gods.

With only 9 balls remaining in the game, 'Pale Ale' edged one to the keeper looking to work the ball behind point, and the Sharks had won the game by 28 runs.

A disappointing loss after it seemed the 5th graders would cruise to victory, and only the second loss of the season.

Next weeks fixture now shapes as a massive game. Gordon and Penrith are tied second on 36 points and both sides will be desperate to gain outright second before the Christmas break. Tickets are available at the gate or online at

Until then, you stay classy Chatswood.

Sticks Kenner

5th Grade Report vs Sutherland - Round 8 (Day 1)

5th Grade Report vs Sutherland - Round 8 (Day 1)

An unlucky 5th Grade hampered by the rain

An early morning phone call announced the arrival of Craig Knight back in Sydney for Saturday's 5th grade game against Sutherland. Knight was taking time out of his toolies experience to answer a desperate plea from selectors.

Another familiar face had returned to Beauchamp. Yes, you guessed it. Dave Gray was back from the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Still reeling from his numerous pina-coladas and late nights, Tweety was keen to speak to the lads and find out the details of last weeks outright victory.

Add to this the arrival of Emile, flying in straight from the luscious shores Byron Bay, and the 5's were looking very strong on paper.








A tanned Tweety, watchful Knight and high-flying Emile back from Schoolies to play against Sutherland

The covers were removed revealing an unusual sight at Beauchamp'grass. A new pitch had been prepared and it was covered in the green stuff. While 'pale ale' Lappan was licking his lips the batsmen were less enthused.

It was obvious that the toss would be crucial and Tweety did what was needed. Employing a double-sided coin, Tweety ensured the Stags would be bowling.

Without 'Dizzy' Dan this week, the new ball was passed to Lappan and Emile. Both openers consistently beat the bat, bowling great lines. Unfortunately the edge was not forthcoming and when finally an edge did come, it fell tantalizingly short of slips. There were early signs that this would not be Gordon's day.

Sutherland were struggling along at 1.5 runs per over and the Stags just couldn't seem to get the break through. With Inzy (also answering a desperate plea from selectors) and Bourne operating from both ends, the batsmen continued to almost give chances but somehow managed to survive.

'Pale Ale' Lappan sends down another on a greenBeauchamp pitch

It was Emile who finally got the breakthrough, an inswinging yorker catching the opener plumb in front.

Unfortunately this would be the only joy for the Staggies fielders as the big dark cumulus-nimbus clouds that had been building all day finally produced the goods. With lightening forcing the players from the field, Sutherland had posted 1-100 off 45 overs and it seemed unlikely there would be any more play for the day.

This ended up being the case, despite both teams best efforts to clear the mud and puddles from the square area. Craig Knight was clearly in his element as he maneuvered the super-sopa like he was back cruising Cavell Ave on the Gold Coast. Frago was less elegant in possession of the device but his efforts were certainly appreciated by onlookers and will certainly improve after a stint at schoolies.

Frago must wait his turn until next year for Schoolies

So it seems that in order for a result to be manufactured out of this fixture it will require some aggressive captaincy and creative minds. I'm sure Tweety has got something up his sleeve. Watch this space.

Sticks Kenner

Ps. Directions to all grade grounds in Sydney are available at

5th Grade Report vs Parramatta - Round 7

5th Grade Report vs Parramatta - Round 7

Saturday 20th November, 2006: McHaffey Day

It was a dazed and confused Kenner who arrived at Princess Park on Saturday morning. After sitting an excruciating 2 hour psychology exam, he had come no closer to understanding the workings of Craig Knight's mind, a mystery that dates back to the days of Freud and Pavlov's dogs. To add to this he had forgotten the scorebook, there was no match ball and captain David Gray was not present. Was this Princess Park, or a nightmare?

(Andrew Lappan and friends appeal for a rare stumping of a fast bowler) 

Luckily Michael Bourne was present and quickly informed the team that Tweety had taken annual stress leave for the weekend. His reason: too much aggressive batting and having to captain Knight and Plummer'fair enough.

So it was Bourne's supremacy at Princess Park. And he quickly took control. Choosing to run before stretching, for the first time since Trevor Watling captained the mighty fives, Bournie then had the lads involved in an intense game of fielding soccer. What innovation!

Just when we thought he could do no more, Bourne won the toss and sent the opposition in on a wicket which possessed more grass than Ian Higgins' top drawer.

(Dan Mahaffey in action at Princes Park)

Something was wrong though. Where was Weaves? Only 20 minutes until kick off and still no sign of the recently elevated opening batsman. Rumor had it that he was somewhere in Auburn'where exactly was less clear! If Bourne was concerned he didn't show it, as he hastily went about stealing a team sheet from the opposition's scorebook.

As it turns out everything worked out perfectly, with Weaver appearing, closely followed by Paul Stephenson brandishing a brand new Kookaburra and Mr. Kenner brandishing a not so new scorebook.

It was game on. Once again Mahaffey picked up a wicket in his first over clean bowling the opener. He then proceeded to take wickets in his 2nd, 3rd, 6th and 8th overs ending his enforced 8 over spell with figures of 5/16.

His ability to swing the ball in to the batsmen and then seam it away left the Parramatta top order searching for answers which were not forthcoming. He was aptly supported by Andrew 'can't wait for Christmas' Lappan who once again was desperately unlucky to go wicketless.

(It must be out this time)

It was early on in the piece when the fifth graders experienced their first falcon of the season when Mike 'Einstein' Weaver, fielding at gully, proceeded to lob the ball to backward point in an effort to get it back to the bowler. Unfortunately young Fraga, not familiar with Weaves' abstract interpretation of geometry copped the new cherry smack on the jaw. Needless to say the 5s were hysterical except for Fraga, who was slightly concussed. Think about it Weaves!

The wickets kept coming with the introduction of Emile 'Stobo' Van Schalkwyk into the attack. Once again the youngster from Shore impressed the onlookers by bowling straight and consistently beating the bat with 'Stobo-esque' leg-cutters, picking up figures of 3-11. Fraggas held up the other end, with Parramatta going into the sheds at tea at 8-98.

It was imperative that the Stags finished the deal quickly after the break and that is exactly what happened with Shiv Ul-Haq being run-out by Bretty Marvel and Bournie picking up the ultimate fantasy cricket dismissal, caught and bowled, to finish the innings.

Parramatta all out 116.

The Stags wanted to close the deal that afternoon to cover against rain next weekend and Lawry and Weaves went about the job, taking 45 off the first 12 overs. The ball was still moving around measurably and Kenner fell victim to some astute out-swing bowling.

1-45. No problems. Weaves decided it was his day and really started to accelerate pouncing on anything short. He fell in the 22nd over for a rapid 61. Most of the 5th graders have already heard about Weaves magnificent innings, but if you would like further details go to

(Emile van Schalkwyk in action on Saturday) 

This left Boycott (batting in his new found no. 3 position) and Knight to finish the job. Both looked extremely solid and we can look forward to some big hitting from Knight next week after he dispatched the opening bowler over the roof of the pavilion in the penultimate over of the day.

Knight 31*, Sadjeh 18*, Gordon 2/142 at stumps.

A real outright chance on the cards next week at Princess Park. Tickets will be sold at the gate. No passouts.

The way it is, Saturday 17th Novermber. I'm Richard Kenner. Good Night.

(thanks Hendo)

5th Grade Report vs Wests - Round 6

5th Grade Report vs Wests - Round 6

5th Grade Report vs Wests

Finding parking at Beauchamp Oval on Saturday morning was harder than finding a park outside Jerry Seinfeld's apartment. It appeared that every six year old in the Willoughby shire had turned out to 'have-a-go'. The only notable exception was Tiddles. Don't worry Tids, didn't see any young Cabbage's doing the rounds'maybe in a couple years.

(Emile Van Schalkwyk in his first grade game for Gordon)

Setting up the screens was even more of a challenge for the fifth graders this week as they had to negotiate their way through a sea of youngsters.

A delayed start followed, with Wests winning the toss and electing to bat first. A decision that appeared rich in logic, with a belter of a pitch on offer. Tweety of course was more than happy to be bowling. Like a warm bath after a long night, Tweety is most comfortable fielding first.

Mahaffey and Lappan opened proceedings, and it didn't take long for the Mahaffey to pick up a pole. First ball of the match infact, a 'solid' catch at cover by Emile Van 'Hoogenban' (Schalkwyk). The two openers continued to bowl tighter than Kenner's back pocket. With the pressure building on every dot ball the second wicket seemed inevitable as mid-on took a simple catch. Wests were 2/30, when a short break was taken at 11am to commemorate the diggers.

Wickets fell at a steady pace after the break with all bowlers cashing in. Lappan claimed 1-23 for his spell and was unlucky not to have a couple more wickets. The pale ale was obviously inspired by his hero Kane West who he had seen perform the previous evening. Emile van der Hoogneband bowled an impressive 8 overs, returing 1-20. The youngster toiled hard and varied his pace superbly, in what was his first trundle in over 8 months.

(A Gordon wicket) 

The spinners finished the job with Michael 'old man legs' Bourne snapping up 3-18 and 'John' Maya taking the last two wickets for 22 runs. At one point Bourne collapsed with cramp in almost every muscle in his body. In fact it would be quicker to describe which muscles weren't in cramp. The old stager fought hard though. Shortening his run up to 'stand-and-bowl', he managed to claim two more wickets.

Wests all out for a sub par 100. A disappointing score on a relatively docile deck.

Lawry was without regular partner Boycott this week. Instead he was joined by young gun Cameron 'fun' Crawford, fresh from the bright lights of the HSC. Cam hadn't donned the pads for several months but that didn't seem to effect him as he pasted the opening bowler over cover for a one bounce four.

At 0-49 and looking set for a 10 wicket win, 'fun' tried to loft one straight and was caught at mid-on. Dougie Harris picked up from where Cam had left off as he worked the spinners to all parts of the ground.

(Craig Knight in action against Wests)  

Just as it looked as the Stags were cruising to an 8-point victory within 25 overs, Kenner was adjudged caught at first slip and Knight and Kulkarni followed in quick succession.

It was up to Dougie 'the pizza boy' to deliver the goods, and that he did with a composed 27 not out. For a man who looked sicker than Fidel Castro, he batted more like a Damien Martyn, to cement his place in the 5th grade outfit.

On Saturday the Stags held serve to love. From ball one, when 'twinkle toes' Mahaffey claimed a pole, the 5th graders never took the foot from the throat. It was a dominating performance.

With all 6 grades having tremendous victories it was off to the Gate to enjoy some free largers and a laugh at Dave Michael's ridiculous sun burn.

And who did I see talking to a mysterious old man (potentially NSW selector) outside the Gate. None other than David Gray. Is the skipper thinking of a comeback into state cricket? Who knows? More on this story next week.

Until then, I'm Richard Kenner, you stay classy Chatswood.


5th Grade Report vs Fairfield - Round 5

5th Grade Report vs Fairfield - Round 5

Fifth Grade Report vs Fairfield

Sunglasses were required to view the pitch at Beauchamp on the first Saturday and not just because Thomlinson and Lappan were removing the covers. It looked as though the council had produced a top-grade batting deck. A Beauchamp special. Tweety's thoughts'.bowl. It must have been a slip of the tongue at the toss which saw Sadjeh (Boycott) and Kenner (Lawry) striding out to open the Stags innings.

(Michael Bourne in the dark at Beauchamp)

Anthony Wilson has had much to say about the Stags opening pair, and much of the dribble rang true on the first morning, as the openers made a cautious start. Lawry, who struggled to find the fence early, was the first to fall for 19.

Boycott and Knight continued, as quality spin bowling tied the two batsmen down at both ends. 'Bollywood' finally attempted to break the shackles and was caught at square leg for 38 (Tiddles, I swear it was an aggressive stroke). Knight fell soon after, bowled round his legs for 25. This left BIC and John 'Mayur' Kulkarni at the wicket.

Rob Evans proved that fortune favoured the brave as he tempted the Lions fielders with some lusty driving. 'Bevans'' luck ran out, though, and he was caught for 33. Johnie Mayur looked the goods but was also struck down, just when he looked set to unload, for 31, proving that there is room for squares. Tim Fraga''your guess is as good as mine' took the strain and looked cool and composed in top scoring with 43. Bourne was not impressed with Fraggas though, as he fell just 2 runs short of the 50 partnership, costing Bourne crucial fantasy points. Bourne is the king of the 50-run partnership (he averages a 2.65 run contribution).

(Rob Evans at Beauchamp)

It was up to Bourne and Gray to see out the days play, as the dismissed batsmen fought for couch position and a share of Thomlinson's rug. Tweety, feeling that the side had lost faith in his aggressive nature, pumped two 4s off the last 3 balls of the day. Botham or Gray? 'Mullet' Wilson seemed confused! (it seems that Wilson has been visiting the same hairdresser as Mahaffey)

Gordon 6/228 at stumps. A relatively slow run rate, considering the quality of the track. But contrary to popular opinion, it was the batsmen's inability to capatalise on their starts which cost the Stags a 300 plus score. Never-the-less, the 5th graders believed in victory.

The second Saturday brought gloomy skies and the possibility of a wash-out. Tweety looked nervous. More nervous than normal. An intense session of dressing room cricket ensued, with the 'have-a-go' gear receiving a thorough work-out. BIC clearly dominated the morning session. Sorry BIC, no fantasy points on offer there!

(Mayur Kulkarni at Beauchamp)

As the mizzle continued to fall, tutorials took place in the change rooms. Pull-a-string bowling techniques were discussed, as well as the rock-and-bowl and Bourne's juggling. After a quick visit to the pristine food court of Chatswood Chase (the pros of playing at Beauchamp), it was decided that play would commence at 3pm.

Tweety quickly declared, ensuring red ink and leaving Fairfield 229 to score at exactly four an over.

'Twinkle toes' Mahaffey was unable to bowl from the northern end, as he was sliding on delivery. It had to be BIC who would take the new ball and success came immediately dismissing the danger man in his second over.

A great bowling partnership followed with Andrew 'never gets wickets before Christmas' Lappan and Rob 'always takes wickets no matter what time of year' Evans cleaning up the Fairfield top order. Evans snared 4 and Lappan 2, and Fairfield were 6/75. A victory loomed, and it seemed all the Stags had to do was 'think about it' to secure the 6 points.

With the light fading fast and memories of Plummer at Bensons resurfacing, Tweety introduced the tweakers. The move proved a masterstroke as 'John' Mayur stole a cheeky 2 wickets and 'frequent flier' Thomlinson snared 1. Bowling into a stiff breeze Thommo clocked an average speed of 12.3km/hr as his hand grenades confused the Fairfield batsmen. After the match Thommo was heard to say, 'I don't think I've ever bowled slower than that, even in the under fives'.

(Sunny shows his fielding prowess at Beauchamp)

So at nine down, the match seemed like a mere formality. The lads were getting worked up, except for the perennial skipper David Gray who's comments included, 'everyone settle down', 'lets regain our composure' and of course, 'think about it'.

No doubt the skipper knew what was coming. The number 9 and 11 opened their shoulders, hitting and hoping'with surprising success. The spinners came in for a severe belting with one ball almost collecting the devious Buno's Holden Commodore.

With Tweety's heart rate rising about 200 and Mick Falk preparing to substitute field, even though no one was injured, it seemed that the game could slip away from the Stags. Enter BIC. With a subtle leg cutter that left the number 11 searching for the ball (BIC's recollection, not mine) Evan's claimed his Michelle Five-for and more importantly the 6 points. The team song was sung with gusto, and the dressing room floorboards were given a fair work-out. It must be noted here that Kenner will be attending choir practice this week after an unforgivable slip up which left conductor Knight dazed and confused.

A win against the competition leaders is always morale boosting, but as they say you haven't broken serve until you hold, and this will be the case against Wests this week'

The 5's must hold serve.

Full credit must be paid to Fairfield, who never gave up on the victory and fought all the way to try and grab the 6 points. It was refreshing to see such an aggressive attitude and it made for great cricket, on a day that promised so little.

Gordon may have claimed the 6 points but cricket was the winner.

Until next time'stay classy Chatswood.

Richie Kenner

5th Grade Report vs Hawkesbury - Round 4 (Day 2)

5th Grade Report vs Hawkesbury - Round 4 (Day 2)

Fifth Grade Report vs the Hawks

With a great wicket presented by the Hawks it left Tweety in no doubt, the Stags would bat on. A Mahaf-a-thon greeted the Hawks in the morning session with three generations of Mahaffey's present. 'Dizzy' did not let the family down scoring a crucial 29 in putting on a 10th wicket partnership of 60, with Bournie.

(Andrew Plummer at Benson's Lane)

That took the Stags to 251, which no longer looked that attractive given the batting friendly conditions on offer, but the Hawks had to score at a clip over 4 an over. 50/50 was the call from Tweety and the lads agreed.

John Saw- 'Bensons Lane then left' 'tell (thanks to Mitch for that one) was again not present and it was up to BIC Evans to field for the day. This is why Rob is the best-in-club. He will drive all the way out to Richmond in sub-zero temperatures just to fill in for the 5th graders. A true Australian Hero.

The weather conditions were slightly different than the previous week. It was akin to stepping off the sun onto a polar ice-cap. With fielders rummaging feverishly through their kit-bags to find their sweaters and cardigans, the team-cream was left chillingly un-loved.

(Dan Mahaffey)

It was ying (Plummer) and yang (Mahaffey) who opened the bowling. The Hawks were scoring at around 1 an over and the openers were bowling great lines. Plummer beat the bat on 1000 occasions and finally claimed a pole, LBW. Much to Plummer's dismay a catch went down the ball before tea and the Hawks went to the break one down.

It was clear the Stags were going to have grind out their wickets. With a gale-force wind keeping the fielders honest, the toil began. 'Scotty' was really bending his back and putting-in-for-the-club (PIFC) and his ever growing fan base.

'Scotty' bowled the number 3 and was almost on a hat-rick when a diving Craig 'Schwarzer' Knight pushed a catch past the post. 'Sunscreen' Sadjeh kept applying himself in the field and pulled off a run-out from his specialist position at mid-off.

'John' Mayur Kulkarni's bowling was a wonderland. After a slow start he found his rhythm and was rewarded with a 'sharpish' stumping from Knight. All this left the Hawks at 4/60 and the Stags well and truly on top.

A good Hawks partnership ensued, and the game tightened up. It seemed that time would be both teams major adversary, but at the same time it meant that both teams kept attacking. It was 'pup' Colley who made the break through, picking up two relatively quick wickets. This left the Hawks a required rate of 6 and only 4 wickets in hand. At this point it was probably time to secure the draw.

It was time. Plummer was to be re-introduced for one final crack at victory. He promptly clean bowled the number 8 and soon after skittled the in-form batsman, only to be denied by a no-ball. The umps then agreed the light was not improving and decided that Plummer could no longer bowl. The virile fast bowler was devastated. It was equivalent to watching Monica Seles being cut down in her prime. Just when it seemed Plums would skittle the Hawks tail, he was put to pasture.

Anyway, it was left to a brave Bourne to battle through the last few overs of the day. And to finish off we were blessed with 6 balls from 'sunscreen' Sadjeh, which I promised I would not mention'oops.

In the end a draw. The players were exhausted from putting-in-for-club all day, especially Scotty, and some had even contracted a slight bout of pneumonia.

The disappointment however was quickly replaced by hopps and barley, as the Staggies celebrated some awesome batting performances at the Greengate. Notably Razzel and Hintdog. The The Crow Nest beckoned and the days play was temporarily wiped from memory

Stay classy Chatswood. I'm Richie Kenner?

5th Grade Report vs Hawkesbury - Round 4 (Day 1)

5th Grade Report vs Hawkesbury - Round 4 (Day 1)

The car drive out to Bensons Lane is always an interesting one, and the presence of Craig Knight made Saturday no exception. Sunny also joined the car trip halfway down the M2, as has become tradition. It was there that a maroon Volvo, appearing to carry some form of rock group, steamed past the 5th graders, doing 1000km/hr. On closer inspection it turned out to be Higgos, Emo and Hosko's, Gordon's resident Beatles'. 

Richie "Sticks" Kenner plays his infamous late cut 

An RBT greeted the two car loads of Staggies on arrival in Richmond, and after a relieved looking Higgins departed the scene, Kenner was cleared to go through after the police officer explained that the previous motorist had actually disabled the breathalyser.

Bensons Lane had really turned it on for the Stags. A 40 degree day with a dry westerly wind blowing off the mountains. A great day to bat, said the bowlers, and Tweety agreed. A new look 5th grade saw the introduction of Steve 'pup' Colley (who I believe is actually only 15 years old), Shenal 'Scotty' Siriwardhane, Mayur Kilkarni and John Sawtell (who we are still waiting on the arrival of).

But it was the old heads Kenner and Sadjeh who opened the innings. After a slow start Sadjeh was clean bowled for 6, and this saw the introduction of 'pup' Colley. Immediately the older heads in the Hawks team started sledging the 12 year-old, but he proved to be above their childish games, batting with maturity and class well above his years. Kenner at the other end was fatiguing quickly and was struggling against a bowler affectionately know as 'The Unit'. The pair struggled to tea on a variable wicket with the score at 1/75.

After tea Kenner was adjudged caught behind for a patient, some times excruciating, 48, after leaving a hole in the Bensons Lane pitch. 'Pup' brought up his maiden grade fifty, this after being verbally abused by the Hawks captain for getting some water after the fall of a wicket. The 9 year-old fell to 'the unit' for 59, but be sure to watch this space.

It was a disappointing afternoon session as the Stags slumped from 1/109 to be 8/215 at the end of the days play. Knighty chipped in with a cameo 32 and Andrew 'see you in court' Plummer hit 16, after surviving a first ball shout for LBW.

Although Shenal 'number 5' or 'Scotty' as he is affectionately known, did not contribute with the bat he definitely enjoyed his scoring stint where he proceeded to knock up some runs off the field. I think his message tone summed up the sentiments of the afternoon. Kenner, also sporting an off field slump, attempted to join in on the action, but had no luck, much to the amusement of 'bollywood'. Oh well lads'.there's always next week!

This sentiment can definitely sum up Gordon's day. At one stage we looked set for 250 but we lost our way after tea. With Bournie and Mahaf-my-coat still at the wicket, however, and a virile, young bowling attack waiting in the wings, the Stags can definitely look to next week as a great opportunity to grab 6 points.

Until next week'stay classy Chatswood (and Bensons Lane).

Richie Kenner

5th Grade Report vs Sydney Uni - Round 3

5th Grade Report vs Sydney Uni - Round 3

Fifth Grade Report vs Sydney Uni

The Stags travelled across the harbour bridge to take on the students in Round 3. St. Pauls was the venue for the eagerly anticipated showdown and the ground looked in fantastic knick. One often feels as though he is playing country cricket when playing at Sydney Uni, such is the ambiance which the campus exudes.

(Rob Evans showing why he is best in club)

Jason Russell-Jones had the unfortunate experience of almost being run-off the harbour bridge by fellow teammate Andrew 'the voice' Plummer. Rumour has it that Plums was attempting to show off his prized wicket from the previous evening. Others speculated that he was dropping his cousin off in the city. Anyway we'll leave those ramblings to the team at Who weekly and move on to the game.

Our evergreen skipper David Gray lost the toss and the students had no hesitation in padding up and heading out to bat. A fast outfield and good batting deck was all the motivation they needed. The ultimate odd-couple once again opened the bowling with Plummer and Mahaffey having no early success. Dan 'dizzy' Mahaffey bowled some great lines, only conceding 6 runs in his first 6 overs.

But it was up to grade newcomer, Nick Cheadle, to claim the first scalp of the day, a fine leggie spinning between bat-and-pad. Needless to say Tiddles was a smiling wreck at the sight of yet another young Staggie wrist spinner strutting his stuff in the Gordon colours.

This wicket failed to stem the Students momentum and it was up to Michael Bourne 'supremacy' to stem the tide as he took 3 quick wickets in his first four overs. It was off Bourne's bowling, that 'the voice' Plummer suffered one of his many life threatening injuries. Over the space of five overs Plummer managed to chip a fingernail, bruise his wrist and lose complete feeling in his right forearm, not to mention take two spectacular catches. Plums truly was the life-blood of the party.

The students now stood at 4-124 after 31 overs and the Stags were confident of a quick kill. This was not to be as Uni's number 3 cut loose taking 80 runs of the Stag bowlers. Although 'Rusty' Jones and Plums chipped in with a wicket each late the Students finished on 5/241 after their 50 overs, a very defendable target.

(Evans and Russell-Jones during their 5ths wicket partnership)

The lunch break was spent crammed in the very cosy change rooms shooting the breeze with fellow Stag players Bourne and Sadjeh. It was interesting to hear their take on life and the match at hand and it was also extremely relieving not to hear from Plummer and Knight for the first time in the day.

Tweety promptly informed the batsmen of the required run rate, 10, 20 and 30 over targets, expected wind direction, maximum and minimum temperatures, and a brief family history of each Uni bowler, before the confused openers Sadjeh and Kenner strode to the crease.

Once again the equation was simple. Keep wickets in hand so BIC can win the game for us later. Unfortunately the top order had other ideas in mind with Kenner and Knight falling early to loose shots. Sunil 'Bollywood' Sadjeh tried hard and was set to explode before he was run out in a horrific miscommunication with BIC. 'The Voice' fell first ball to another controversial LBW decision and the Stags knew they were in for a long afternoon, especially in the pavilion.

As BIC and 'Rusty' promptly set about rescuing the team from 4/49, 'The Voice' entertained the masses with a 2 and a half hour speech about the subtleties of cricket. Other topics that were addressed by Plums included umpiring, West Indian cricketers' social habits, beverage choice, all GPS cricket and rugby results of the past two decades and a thorough review of his life in the fast lane. Plummer was even heard to say, at the rare occasion when Knight got a word in, 'geez Knighty, you really can talk, can't you?'.

Anyway more important things were happening in the middle. BIC and Rusty had given the Stags a shot at victory, dragging us within 120 runs of our target. Just when it seemed that both would explode and bring us home they both lost their wickets in quick succession, Rusty for 30 and Bic for 43. This left the Stags with an ever mounting run rate and the young (Cheadle) and the old (Tweety) at the wicket. The equation was too much for the Stags and they fell 50 runs short of victory.

A disappointing loss for the Stags in a game they could have easily won. They say cricket is a game of inches, and this clich' held true for the Stags on Saturday with several crucial chances falling agonisingly short of fielders. Who knows, if these had gone our way it may of been a different story'but in the end it was the top-order who had themselves to blame, for not setting the required foundation.

Tweety was philosophical about the loss in the sheds after the game, and The Voice once again mesmerised his team mates with an extended match review which touched on the true meaning of life. One final quote ensued from our resident Richie Benaud, 'boys'it was the loss we had to have'. Not to sure about this one Plums, I know I would have loved to have won the game.

Until next time'stay classy Chatswood.

Richie Kenner

5th Grade Report vs St George - Round 1

5th Grade Report vs St George - Round 1

Fifth Grade Report Round 1

Saturday morning saw the beginning of a new season for the Stags and the 5th grade side resembled that of the victorious colts team from the year before, with some notable inclusions, namely 'needles' Thomlinson who had no doubt been working hard in the gym over the off season, Dan 'dizzy' Mahaffey who had failed to locate the barber throughout the winter and new face Laurence Legg joining us from the coast. Oh, and of course there was the evergreen Andy Plummer who started the day in great fashion by managing to get intimate with some of Beauchamp's finest fertiliser during stretches. A quick shower in the change rooms and Plums was ready to roll, although the prevailing odour forced Tweety to place him at fine leg during the opening overs.

(Thanks Saints)

After the lads had managing to assemble the IKEA DIY Beauchamp sidescreens (thanks to Tweety's handy work with the Allan-key), it was time for the warm up. Again Knight and Tweety debated the correct order of proceedings'run then stretch or stretch then run, a question that has puzzled cricketers for decades. Of course Tweety's experience and inability to actually run without stretching saw him get his way and Knight was forced to bite his tongue (something he finds extremely hard).

Tweety won the toss and decided to send a young looking Saints side in to bat on a docile-looking Beauchamp track, a decision that no doubt reflected the side's bowling strength. Plummer and Mahaffey opened up and it was a slow start by the fielding side. A couple of costly fumbles saw the Saints out to a flier and Plums left cursing his luck as he proceeded to dig a hole the size of the grand canyon out of the Beauchamp popping crease.

(Jason Russell-Jones in action on Saturday)  

While Plums was busy digging his way to China, 'Dizzy' Mahaffey managed to not even leave a scratch at his end of the wicket prompting an observant mid-off fieldsman to label him 'twinkle toes' Mahaffey. The man who floats on air was solid in his opening spell and snared the opening wicket when Jason Russel-Jones rediscovered his recent AFL form by snaring a one-handed grab in the centre half forward pocket (the covers).

Gordon was unable to break the second wicket partnership as the Saints built a solid foundation from which to launch. Dave 'my humps' Millar bowled extremely well, only conceding 20 runs from his 10 overs and Andrew 'pale ale' Lappan was unlucky not to claim any wickts in his spell.

The wheels started to fall off a dilapidated looking Gordon outfit after the last drinks break until Thomlinson snared two late wickets to put the brakes on the opposition.

(David Thomlinson shows that style)

Some tight bowling by Mahaffey restricted the Saints to a modest total of 230 on a relatively good batting deck. Gordon fifth grade would like to thank the little St.George supporter who once again showed up at Beauchamp to sledge the Staggies fielders. He also managed to scare our resident fielding guru Steve Thomlinson into leaving the ground.

The lunch break saw a hungry Kenner reaching for the sambo's from the fridge. Unfortunately he had failed to check if they were actually his and after taking the first few bites was surprised to see the umpires stern face staring him down as he asked for his sandwiches back. A tasty treat may have cost Kenner his wicket but fortunately Mrs. Knight saved the day providing the hungry umpire with some of her world-famous and critically acclaimed pikelets. Thank you Mrs. Knight!

The staggies batsmen knew what they had to do, and if they didn't, well Tweety reminded them about three thousand times. 'No rush', 'Keep wickets in hand', 'No stupid shots', 'Don't get run out', 'Make sure I don't have to bat''etc.

Our resident Bollywood star Sunil Sadjeh and Kenner strolled out to the crease to open the innings and things started brightly. With the pair never scoring a 100 run partnership before, it was only the 23rd over when they achieved this milestone and the Stags were well on their way.

(Sunny against Saints)

Sunny batted like a man possessed, concentrating hard and punishing any loose ball he was presented with. Rusty-Jones was calculating his fantasy cricket points in the sheds when Kenner was caught for 65. Looking for sympathy on his way into the sheds Jason managed to provide the forlorn batsmen with, 'thanks mate, you just cost me points!'. As I have said before Rusty-Jones'team player!

Laurence came to the wicket with Sunny eying up what would have been a massive comeback ton, but unfortunately it was not to be with both batsmen holding out for 7 and 80 respectively. It was great to see Bollywood back in the runs and you couldn't wipe the million-dollar smile off his million-dollar face.

So it was left to Plummer and Knight to finish the job. This was done in style as Plummer, after a shaky start, set about tearing apart the bowling attack on his way to his maiden Gordon 50.

With Gordon requiring 1 run for victory and Plummer on 49 runs there were shouts from the pavilion for the bowler to bowl a wide but alas it was not to be with Plummer crunching the ball over the covers for which can only be described, by Plummer, as a magnificent shot.

(The winning runs)

So the staggies were home and Plummer had something to talk about at the Greengate. 6 points on the board and Tweety's magic run continues. All the boys are looking forward to the first 2-dayer against UTS next week, where we can expect to see some sterling performances from the stars of Gordon 5th grade. Until next week'stay classy Chatswood.

Richie Kenner



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