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2nd Grade vs Bankstown - Round 4 - 2016/17

‘Creativity is contagious. Pass it on’. Einstein’s words echoed around the team huddle on a damp spring morning in Sydney’s leafy North Shore.

If you assumed that by ’team’ I meant the 11 members of second grade, you were incorrect. These were, in fact, the words uttered by the top five ‘legends’ as named by last week’s match reporter, Dan Stickland, one of the few words he didn’t use the synonym tool on. Sorry Dan, but I’m going to rename the top five ‘the galácticos’.

In case you weren’t aware the galácticos (Spanish for galactics or superstars) were expensive, world-famous Real Madrid football players recruited during the "galácticos" policy pursued during Florentino Pérez's presidency at Real Madrid in the early to mid 2000s. I contacted my English mate Banksy to make up what a modern day gálacticos side would look like and you can see below what he came up with. The bottom six have the nickname ‘the jerks’. You can have that one, Dan.

I won’t bore you with the full details of the football match on day one, people are occupied with work, uni or school and don’t need to know about me scoring five over the two weekends.

Game 1:

Galacticos 6 Jerks 4

Game 2:

Galacticos 2 Jerks 1

Player Ratings (football obviously)


Scott O’Brien 9
What was Hayden without Langer? Lennon without McCartney? Richie without Alex? Nothing. What would the gálactico’s defence be like without O’Brien? Work it out.

Cam New 7.5
Not a natural but sport is 90% mental.

Will Phillips 7
Modesty is the best policy when writing a match report.

Reagan Klemt 9
Recovered from getting skinned by Newman in week one to return with an imperious, commanding performance. Brings the ball each week.

Max Papworth 9.5
Covers ground a lot better than he covers the wickets at Killara. Imperious.


Josh Doyle 5
Bases his game on his beloved Central Coast Mariners, who are currently languishing in the lower echelons of the A League.

Max Newman 5.3
MOM in week one, a week in the courts seemed to affect his JUDGEment in week two.

Nick Miller 5.1
One of the most gifted players on the north shore. Great presence on the pitch, but I think that is his jawline, rather than his football, doing the talking.

Jack Skillbeck 5.2
Added enthusiasm to a lethargic Jerks side. Best player I’ve seen in a floppy.

Dan Stickland 5
Could do a job in England’s national team.

Sam Baker 5
Plays football with the coordination of a person who is celebrating their 18th birthday at The World Bar.

Whilst the Galactico's are undeniably clinical they are indeed a sight for sore eyes.


Day 1: Rain

Day 2:

An unprepared pitch meant that play kicked off at 12, leaving both teams a paltry 70 overs to force a result. Skipper Newman won the toss and stuck the Doggies in and they came out with bite. Bulldogs by name, Bulldogs by nature.

However, their promising start was soon neutered with tight bowling from Messrs O’Brien and Miller pulling back the Dog’s leash, 50/2. 
Enter Dan Stickland, who’s first ball, a genuine full bunger, was pouched at mid off by Skillbeck. 

A fortunate start from Stickland some may say, however, as my father James would say, “it’s better to be a lucky bowler than a good bowler”. 

Dan picks up four poles for his trouble.
Not to say that DS is not a good bowler, precisely the opposite in fact. This point was proven in an exceptional spell of attacking bowling, and by the end of his spell, he had four wickets to show for his hard work. 

Experienced pro Scott O’Brien also deservedly bagged a couple of wickets with a spell of controlled leg-spin, while Josh Doyle took two at the death. 

Doggies 173 all out.

Batting. It didn’t look good for the Stags at 5/86, although the top five looked good, that’s all that matters right? Wrong (Klemt, 2016). 

Back to Klemt in a moment. 

One of the five wickets to fall was Papworth, fresh off a hundred the week prior. Max was caught by a blinding catch at mid off after which, he was subject to a rather rude sending off from the Bankstown opening bowler. 

Their exchange went a little like this:

Bowler: “Oi mate, on your bike”

Max: “Mate, you know my Dad is an ex-Wallaby and is now a TV and Radio personality?”

Bowler: “Bloody oath, sorry mate”

Klemt (59*) and Newman (31) calmed proceedings down somewhat, putting together a crucial, match-defining partnership of 62. Reg played with great control, while Max continued his excellent start to the season with a counter-attacking knock. 

Regean carries the Stags home with another great show of controlled yet power hitting.
When Max was out, Miller came to the crease and with Reg, took the Stags home with 7 balls remaining. Four wins out of Four for second grade. Long may it continue.

Allez les Stags.


Sweet Chilli Willy Phillips


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